<3 glamour in glitters

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too dark

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nice

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on my hand

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shited.

2005-04-27T03:07:00.000+08:00

HTTP://17CENTS.BLOGSPOT.COM

mahjong.

2005-04-25T11:19:00.000+08:00

i've been hanging out too much, almost everyday, i'm getting lethargic. i caught The Interpreter a few days ago, good i would say, even though the United Nations politics bored me out somehow. reminds me of social studies, ms low.

i met gita in the morning yesterday, we had breakfast in macdonalds. then we went over to shop & save and got some groceries since she's living by herself now. i swear her house was so damn messssy. we made attempts to clean up, but i gave up shortly after. haha.

then i cabbed over to meet shengwei since he wanted to go down to great world city, second day in a row. i got a pink espirit jacket from there. went over to tiong bahru plaza and then his place. watched meet the fockers on his computer while waiting for weiming and grace to come over. then we played mahjong, and i sucked at it. i was dreading mahjong!

took a cab home at around 11, sent grace back to clementi first then i went home.

i guess i have to grow up somehow. i don't have a choice because i can no longer act like a baby infront of you. i mustered up all my courage and typed an email. send, i clicked and tada.

i will be fine, like i promised you. i'm alright.

sigh

2005-04-22T19:24:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i've expressed how i really feel inside. i don't know if i should, but i'm dying to just get them out of my little heart. then again, i cannot be selfish. i've to think about the consequences, the consequences of what i want to say.

this sucks, big time.

it's killing me.

creep.

2005-04-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

i caught creep with shengwei today. it's quite okay, i think it's more of gore instead of horror. haha :) 3 out of 5 stars! so many nice movies coming up! and i wanna catch them all!

- THE INTERPRETER
- HOUSE OF WAX
- MONSTER-IN-LAW
- CURSED
- A WHOLE LOT LIKE LOVE
- DIVERGENCE

^^;

was at tiong bahru plaza the whole of today. then went over to queensway, and yup. headed to the food court just opposite my house for dinner. alwin and weiming came along.. pfft. he sent me up, taught my sister some math sums, and left.

i want to go shopping again. :/ i want an IPOD MINI! i want a new jacket, i don't mind one from ADIDAS or ROXY!! :D i need new slip-ons!

i finally found the candy that i've been searching for high and low! i found it in tiong bahru plaza's NTUC. :/ LOL =P go buy! impact peach mints, sugar free. :) at only $2.70 a box! and the box's cutesy pink. so prettttty :) i want more more more! a pity i only bought a box today. i shall get a few more boxes tomorrow. HEHE.

i met yihong and yanfen for dinner last night! we had crystal jade!!! all thanks to my $30 voucher =P LOL :) but it was really yummy and fun! we talked loads of shit. HAHAHA :) xiao long bao rocks ;) and that peppered ribs. yummmy. then we went over to shengshiong after that, visited my ex colleagues. chenling's gonna be transferred over to 544 and iris's going on a 8 day leave. lucky us, we went back just one day before they all leave. :)

i am getting sleepy.

-

2005-04-18T20:53:00.000+08:00

the photo on my student card looks like shit :( the ugliest photo i've ever taken. HAHAHA MY GOD LAH. i look like a BAO, a FLAT BAO :( blame the black black hair! ARGGGGGH. and i've to wear it around my neck for 3 years whenever i step foot into SP. MY GOD!! :(

i swear i will never use hair spray again. what's more, black hair spray. YIKES :(

the boy waited for me while i went for the different briefings on different camps. considering some of the camps though, but have not made up my mind. oh ya, met a course mate. a guy, shawn i think. but i didn't talk to him much lah, damn shy. HAHAHA :D

went home to wash my hair after that. i've shampoo it for like 4 freaking times but now my hair feels oily/sticky. so gross! went for dinner with the boy, and yap now he's on his way home.

my mom gave him a ping an fu lah. so lucky right. LOOOOOL.

but i can't wait for school to start. :)

shopping.

2005-04-16T18:38:00.000+08:00

it feels like Heaven when i can just shop my ass off! i've been shopping a lot, recently. i've been paying by nets and now i realise i'm gonna be broke really soon!

just this week alone, i've already bought 3 tops. LALALA :) one baby blue round neck tee, one green top and one pink v-collared tee. one black racer tank top for my sister. and i got a new pair of chucks!!! grey with pink stitches. everyone say YAY!

i went IKEA the other day with shengwei. bought two plastic stools for my aunt, and i got my noticeboard :) shopping in IKEA is fun too, yay!

i've to go back to school on monday (18/4) to submit my forms and to take a photo for my student card. i even bought a black hairspray from gatsby which cost me a good 11$ in case they insist that students with colored hair shall not have their images captured for the student card since it's stated on the guidebook.

money money money~~~

i wanna watch CREEP!!! hahaha. alwin says it's disgusting. =P~

i shall go edit songs now. TATA!

love, or like.

2005-04-15T11:07:00.000+08:00

when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting. but when the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

the feeling of like starts from the ear, but the feeling of love starts from the eyes.

so if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears. but if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever.

-

so very true. (:

9; when everything ended.

2005-04-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

my heart's dead, and i've sealed it up; it died when everything ended. droplets of blood may fall, but no one else will see it, because i'll be masking it well. nobody will gain entry, till i trust that sweet, yet heartbreaking four letter word again.

i will be strong, don't worry about me. you must do the same too. :)

-

i haven't been updating! anyway, i've been trying to get my butt out of the house. at least i know my thoughts will not be wandering about freely like how they do at home. i will be fine, i know.. i know..

i don't know what to write. i don't want people to know how weak i'm.. i don't want you to see me cry.

i'll update when i've recovered. when? maybe weeks later, or even months.. or years.

so good bye for now.

deprived;

2005-04-08T10:32:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to say. i think i'm selfish, very selfish. yes, no? -sigh

i just don't know what to do. i'm tired, i don't know how long more i can hold out.

stop being so selfish, give me a chance. :(

i've lost the will to win.

:/

2005-04-07T22:39:00.000+08:00

troubled.

i don't know.

sigh. :(

don't ask.

i'm sorry.

feels different*

2005-04-07T12:55:00.000+08:00

i woke up today feeling weird. hm, :/ i mean i slept at the usual timing, but i keep waking up at intervals of an hour or so, then i snooze to sleep again. it just feels like i've been sleeping for a long long long time! really, i mean LONG. and i woke up with my limbs/back aching.

i had a dream, but i cannot remember what is it now. all i can remember is a name. but i don't even know who that person is and i've never even see that name before. urgh :/

i've completed my pre-enrolment online, and i've to make a trip down to SP on the 18th :/ 2.30PM-2.45PM, oh yes. to submit all my enrolment forms and to take photos for the student card, then collect it there also i think. they said SP's way of enrolment is so much more efficient. i've no comments though! and i've better go for my medical checkup soon in case my period decides to visit me earlier this month.

i shall take up another language! either japanese, korean if not spanish? if not it'll be Business Chinese. hahaha sounds cool lah, :D i will have to start ordering Straits Times already. if not i don't know how i'm gonna complete my assignments when school commences. sheesh.

meeting yanfen and yihong later, we're going to the library. then i'll go collect my photos (again), laminate them. hopefully the same auntie will be there, she charged me cheaper for lamination! then i'll have to photostat my birth certificate, result slips, and my IC. pfft.

oh ya, watch channel U at 7.30PM okay? the taiwan drama is nice, yesterday was the first episode. THE LITTLE BOY ZEYA'S SO CUTE!!! and he looks cuter when he's crying! AWWWWWWWW!!! :DDDDD

rise, & fall

2005-04-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

Love the girl in your heart, not in your mind. If you base your relationship on feelings, it will fail for there are ups and downs in feelings. Girls are there to be loved, not to be toyed around.

Love her for who she is. Don't even think about changing any bit about her. 6 billion people in this world & 6 billion different personalities. She's special & she will stay that way. If you change any part of her, you'll change her forever. Don't substitute her for anyone else, they are just unique in their own ways.

Love whole-heartedly. She sacrificed a lot for you so you'd better treasure her. She could have just go up and date someone much more dashing in town but she chose you instead all because of love. So love her, not play with her.

Don't ever get the girl to beg you to stay. If you're with her, love her. Don't
cause a strain in the relationship, you'll end up loving each other out of pity or charity, that's not respecting love at all. Respect love the way it is and everything will be the best it can be. I've been there and I know how it feels.

Don't expect perfection from her. She's the only one in the world and she's done the best she could.

Like another girl while you're in a relationship? Then I think it's time you remain single for a while. Don't go around breaking girls' hearts, it's the most tragic thing to do.

Tell the truth, never hide anything from her. If you want her to tell you everything, do the same. Don't go calling other girls "honey" or "darling", how
would it feel if your girl calls other guys the same way? Be faithful, enough is enough.

Socialise only when you're single. You socialise and flirt around for the sake of getting the girl of your dreams. Get it over when she's already yours, don't ask for more.

It never kills to be romantic. Think, be flexible. Getting that diamond ring isn't the only gift for her. Be realistic, she's human and she lives life just like you. Something sweet and simple always gets the job done. Money doesn't exist between couples, it's love.

Never promise her that you'll love her forever because your forever might end the next day. Love her as if each day is the last.

Sweet talks only apply for singles, not for attached guys. Do that and you'll really break your girl's heart. It isn't good being too well-known too, it'll give her a
sense of insecurity. Remember, INSECURITY.

Promise her and make sure you'll never break it. Swear to her and make sure you keep it. Pledge your love to her and HER alone.

Loving her is giving her your heart to break it but trusting her not to. Instead, she'll cherish it and protect it. That's love. Give her your heart, your life, your everything.

Lay down your life and prepare to die for her when the need arises. But stay strong and live through another day, she can never live without you.

Never, ever walk out of her life. She won't just cry her heart out and carry on living as per normal, she'd die. Its her heart that you've broken, how would you ever know how she feels?

Winning a girl's heart isn't the final victory. Don't leave her once you've won her heart. Love her all the way till the end of time, love her till marriage, love her till old age, love her till death. If you can love her till the end of time, you've earned the honour and respect for you've truly loved her.

She chose you because she believes that you can fulfil your promises. Win her heart and love her over. Remember, the girl isn't a trophy for display, she's someone to love, not to show off to your "friends". Stay humble yet proud that she's the one for you. Respect her for the way she is, never despise her and never mistreat her, never even think of toying with her.

-

i got the above from a bulletin in friendster. sweet, and i guess it makes sense. :) so guys out there, you know what to do. :)

photos.

2005-04-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

pfft. it's raining again! :/

met my sister after her dismissal, went to develop photos again because my aunt wants them in other sizes. :/ then shun bian pass the photos that i've already developed and laminated to yanfen! haha :) i placed one of the photos in my wallet. preeeettty!

now i want a photo with baby! YOU HEAR ME BABY, HELLLLO!

i so bored :| gonna fill up my enrolment forms later on, then finish up the online pre-enrolment. who's nice enough to accompany me down to SP on some other days? :D

pffffft, byee!

the past.

2005-04-06T01:08:00.000+08:00

i was talking to this particular friend of mine, about the past. haha :) this person made an impact in my life a few years ago, and ya. here we are sitting down infront of the computer and talking to each other about it.

i guess both of us have already grown up. and definitely he has matured!

i didn't know that some things had such an impact on him, and some of the stupid things he actually did. it was funny lah. and some of the things he told me, which i can't remember now. some very very dumb things that i've onced said and done. haha. oh well!

i think i feel much better now. i could never imagine myself confiding in him a few years back. but i just did, and recently. oh well haha!

if he ever sees this, thanks a whole damn lot! :)

cold; & alone.

2005-04-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

do weighing scales actually tell lies? i thought i saw the scale wrongly. but i weighed myself for 3 whole damn times. i lost one freaking kilo, uh.

these few days have been really cold, i don't know why. i have to resort to switching off my fan in the middle of the night and tuck myself into the thick and cosy blanket. then i'll make myself sleep in, until some unearthly timing.

yes, i just don't wanna wake up.

then my aunt has to come in, and rummage through all my things on my desktop. it was so annoying okay. but i just kept quiet and hid under my blanket. urgh :/ and yes, i couldn't sleep no more.

my neighbour's son came over. he's like so young, in primary school. kids are cute, yes i love kids. i might consider having a coupla' kids in the future, but nobody knows what's gonna happen next. so i might even end up not getting married. ^^;

today's the 5th already. i can't wait for the 7th to come, so i can do my pre enrolment stuffs online. and then get an appointment date to go down to SP to hand in my forms, and do the necessary paperwork. AND then comes the checkup which i'll have to go down myself, most likely.

hoho. i'm going vegetarian! for today, LOL. nah, i don't know. just feel like eating veggies. i'm gonna eat some instant vegetarian beehoon later, with some needle mushroom, my all time favourite! then i will have brocoli for dinner.. sounds nice?

saw one of the aunties from my previous workplace downstairs just now. haha, i miss her man! oh well..

shall make a trip down to 501 tonight, then collect my photos, and meet up with yanfen. more craps ;)

-

2005-04-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

- met up with yanfen @ jurong point today
- slacked at mos burger
- bought my pants @ BEGA
- waited for yihong to come over
- went over to 501
- develop prints from my mobile
- time of collection: 8PM tomorrow

* now i think i look fat in the pants
* regrets, but what's done is done

i bought a black shirt and a black pants this week. & yes, i bought them on impulse. for the sake of having something to wear. but i don't look nice in them, i'm regretting. someone tell me, how the fuck do you even slim your damn thighs? i hate it, so very conscious of them. but i was born with it. urgh.

i've been wasting money.. i buy things, for the sake of spending money. i know it's dumb.. but, that's one place i find solace from.. i guess so..

- high time i stop spending so much

i want to do something constructive, but.. :/ my mood gets dampen all the time; even at home. they say one will feel better after crying, but i guess it doesn't applies to me. i think it doesn't help, really.

i am sorry.

i wish i could end it all. it hurts. so very depressing..

wished you were here....

bye.

sunday;

2005-04-03T17:03:00.000+08:00

(edited @ 12:14AM;)

me: what's wrong with you again?

you: tired.

me: so you can behave like this when you're tired?

you: no.

yes, NO was what i wanted to hear. but after that?

me: tired, then go sleep?

you: okay.

me: bye.

you: bye.

so i hung up, & the line went dead for you, i guess.

time's already one big damn factor that's pushing us apart, & not bringing us together. not mentioning the distance, because that kills us, to top it off the damn factor as stated above.

IT WAS SO OBVIOUS.

once is not enough.. and you asked me what once is not enough? I ALMOST DIED AT THE INSTANT.

once a week is not enough. NOW HAPPY?

it's already so hard to be together physically. all i wanted to do was to make the best out of a phone conversation that we hardly engage in. you brought me so high, by making me fall in love with you all over again everytime i hear your voice over at the other line. and yet, you brought me down, with a single goodbye.

& i will have to head to bed with a heavy heart tonight; like the past few nights.

baby, it's getting harder to breathe..

-

pfft. i'm home on a sunday afternoon, sunday. :( suppose to be meeting baby, but it has to rain today of all days. & my darn stomach's giving me problems!

i'm craving for dove chocolates, kimchi and some mango freeze, URGH.

i've nothing to do, but watch zhen qing. how entertaining. but i think there's a new show on channel U tonight. i think it's some horror drama. 11PM tonight! but look at the time now, it's only 5PM!!!

i keep looking at the neoprints i took with the girls yesterday. PRETTY right?! hahaha. but too bad my scanner's long dead. :D

okay lah, shooos.

girls day out!

2005-04-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

pfft, just came back home from town! was out with geraldine, serene and joline. :)

spent a lot of money today, haha! so if anyone has any lobang for jobs, tell me! i'm running low on cash.

we had lunch at ramen ten, :/ it was ok-ok lah. haha, jo and serene had some hokkaido oyster ramen, geraldine had the super spicy ramen, and me the spicy chicken ramen. :) had one of every freeze: mocha, cappucino, chocolate and mango freeze! 50$, haha. talk a lot of shit there :X

then we went walking around.

they made me go for a haircut at REDS. hahaha, okay fine. i finally changed my hairstyle! but i'm not very happy with it. worst still, the hairdresser suck. :X CHRIS LAI!!! bah. another 42$ there :/

bought a L'OREAL remix hairstyling paste! 20% discount, haha. another 10$ gone. went to giordano (again), because they wanted to buy the colored bands! i bought another black shirt there, so they could buy the bands at 2$. another 19$ on the shirt.

and i bought another tote bag from HUSHHUSH! hehehe, prettypretty!!! another 19$.

moneymoneymoney. money makes the world go round. now i understand, i guess.

if you ever see me on the streets, don't laugh at my hair, okay? :D

matriculation sucks.

2005-04-01T12:16:00.000+08:00

i received my matriculation package from SP yesterday. i'm not very sure of what to do, but yah it sucks. so many procedures and forms to fill up. what's worst is that i've got to go for a medical checkup! :( i don't wanna take a blood test, -faints

so i've to do my pre-enrolment on the net within the dates given, 7 april - 9 april. and then go for a checkup on the 14th. i still have to go down to SP on some dates which they will assign me after the pre-enrolment online. so troublesome. :/

AND baby starts school on the 18th april. it's just 17 days away piggo!!!

he says we can meet up after his work today, but it's aprils fool. maybe he's playing a trick on me, and wants to make a fool outta me. HAHAHA just joking!!! he's so gonna kill me.. LALALA. muacks!

time for my cup noodles. BYEEE.

you're all by yourself, be strong.

2005-03-31T20:50:00.000+08:00

when you're on your own, you have no choice but to be strong, at least stronger than yesterday. - quoted, yours truly.

random shots.

2005-03-31T13:55:00.002+08:00

i've run out of words to say. i've nothing to hide & i'm hiding nothing. so here, pictures. they say pictures depict a thousand words. now, enjoy. a thousand words?

random shots of the house taken just yesterday evening. pictures, courtesy of my NOKiA6260. picture effects, courtesy of Adobe Photoshop 7 and some skills. ;) now, a proper digicam/camera, anyone?

the kitchen window.

that gate, locked.

hanging in the air.

set me free;

2005-03-30T17:31:00.000+08:00

those days are gone, and i want so much
the night is long and i need your touch
don't know what to say
i never meant to feel this way
don't want to be, alone tonight

set me free (29.03.05)

happy 15th monthsary.

2005-03-30T11:16:00.000+08:00

i woke up this morning with my stomach feeling really queasy, :/ so i decided to push my plans for today back, until tomorrow i guess.

initially, i planned to wake up earlier than usual, so i could drag myself to the gym, to do something constructive, like exercise. then after that i will go on a shopping spree myself, or just go anywhere and do anything that i want to.

looks like my stomach spoilt the day. i guess i gotta be cooped up at home again today. sick.

and of all things to play, my aunt's playing with her mobile; blasting her ringtones at full volume level five. wtf, and she keeps replaying each and every tone. it's so irritating, so irritating.

i was drawing yesterday, self-entertainment. with pencils, and more pencils. hehe, so fun. but i think i suck at drawing. maybe i'll draw again later on, but my sister bought my colored markers to school, ;/ or maybe i could clean up my room..

SIGH. life's getting boring, meaningless.

i wish she could just talk to me, or just shout at me.

happy 15th baby, i love you. thank you, for always being there.. for everything you do, for everything that's true. :) i want you to listen to christina aguilera's i turn to you, okay?! muacks!

when i need a friend;

2005-03-29T14:01:00.000+08:00

my stomach feels so damn uncomfortable right now. and i've just had my breakfast cum lunch! it feels as though someone's ripping/pulling my stomach here there, and everywhere. lol, wtf.

maybe i'm going to siloso with geraldine, joline and serene this weekend! but nothing's confirmed yet, just one of geraldine's ideas. :) we should try something new since we're always out shopping aimlessly. haha! i miss those girls heaps!

on prom night! :)

i miss my long&uncolored hair. HAHAHA so crappy. :( i shouldn't have gone on a haircut + highlight on impulse. now it looks crappy. AND it's taking ages to just GROW!!!

i am growing fat, fatter. i need to drag someone to the gym with me! -yawns

actually natasha bedingfield - single is quite nice, i like the rhythm and the beats. my declaration of independence!

i don't know what i should do today, mm. maybe i can write letters. haha! & yanfen's sister is irritating the hell out of me in MSN. zzz ;/

this entry is so random! no substance.

DIAMONDS&GLAMOUR

2005-03-28T20:01:00.000+08:00

i'm finally done with the layout! :) now say 'YAY!', everyone! i love this picture! haha :) and so much more pretty pictures over here! CHEERS TO MISS PINGLET!

diamonds diamonds diamonds! i can't stop thinking about the prettypretty GUESS watch with crystals on the watch face, and the prettypretty pink leather strap! hehe! i wanna go shopping, or just get out of the house. i need fresh air!

i haven't done anything constructive today. was watching tv from 2.30PM until about 5PM. i was checking out the concession schemes for tertiary students when i got a shock of my life. my, they cost a bomb! for the hybrid concession (both bus and train concessions), it costs a freaking $97! close to a hundred. oh someone just shoot me with a gun. :(

imagine! school fees for a year's already $2050, then 12 months of hybrid concession 12 x $97. it sums up to a total of $3214! excluding my allowance, and all other miscellanous stuffs. -faints

i can't wait for school to start, i don't wanna die rotting at home! i wanna take up 3rd language! hm, haven't thought of what language yet though.

okay, i shall go check the letter box now!

i don't hate you.

2005-03-27T21:32:00.000+08:00

i want to get out of this place! i feel like i'm suffocating, i need to breathe.

it's not just boredom that's killing me. sometimes i really can't stand my mom. she's ridiculously ridiculous! and my aunt. she gets on my nerves. i wish i had a room to myself, then i'll lock myself in my room and sleep, forever.

i have nothing better do.

so i turn to retail therapy. but when i get home, they will start ranting and raving, saying that i'm a spendthrift. but then again, i'm spending my own money, that measly sum of money i earned with my blood and sweat. then fine, i tried my best to cut down on my expenses. i haven't been shopping. all i do is stay home and rot. so i turn to my computer & the internet for solace, then you come ranting and say i'm wasting electricity.

GOODNESS, LEAVE ME ALONE!

i should just get a job which needs me to work 24/7. then you will just shut up, right?

i don't hate you. but have you even realise, that this home is all but an empty shell?

i want to just get out of this place, for a breather.

maybe i should just take a long bus ride, which i've been wanting to do so badly. i need a shoulder to ~~cry~~ on.

i need you.

what is it, love.

2005-03-27T15:10:00.000+08:00

i'm seriously addicted to jennifer lopez's (can't believe) this is me!

it's so pathetic to be stuck at home on a rainy sunday afternoon. *sigh* i want to see my baby! but it's raining, both here and over at his place. my, this sucks. and then again, he's got some stupid blister that's obstructing his movements. haha sucks.

i'm so bored. tomorrow's monday, baby has work, my friends got to go to school, what am i gonna do!

aiyeeeeeeeeer. i want my baby :(

i can't believe this is me.

2005-03-26T17:16:00.000+08:00

i feel so silly. maybe because i've nothing to do. all my insecurities, all the unspokens, they are eating me up, taking over me.

i want to talk to someone about this, but and then again, not everyone can understand how you feel exactly. don't talk about putting yourself in my shoes. you won't understand, because it feel so, yuck. i'm smsing geraldine, about all these. sigh, i miss the days when me, geraldine, serene and joline sit down together and just talk/crap our hearts out under the big umbrella! sigh, i miss school. :(

everything feels like a routine, i don't know if you feel the same way. i don't know. but i know i'm trying very hard to keep myself going.

and here's lyrics from a veryvery nice song! :)

how can you just say that you love me yet to leave you alone
you said these walls were here to protect us, but it's still not a home
all these questions that are burning inside with answers i'll never know
'cause you're the only one who knows how you feel, but you're not letting me know

what is it, love
can i help you
i see where this has gone and what it's coming to
i look to you
enough

i can't believe this is me
where i can touch and not feel you
i feel i'm lost in a dream
between what is and what seems
having to face not to need you
you know you owe it to me
how can you think we don't need you
i'm tired of running away from my fear and the day
that our life has no meaning
without a word or a reason
like a coward, you're leaving

sitting here inside an empty room that was filled with us
only boxes to define what was left of what we used to call love
it's sad that after all of this time, you have nothing to say
ooh, and the only thing that you could've done, you choose to walk away

i'm thankful, love
i don't hate you
'cause i'd rather live and know than what you put me through
i needed you
somehow

i can't believe this is me
where i can touch and not feel you
i feel i'm lost in a dream
between what is and what seems
having to face not to need you
you know you owe it to me
how can you think we don't need you
i'm tired of running away from my fear and the day
that our life has no meaning
without a word or a reason
like a coward, you're leaving

jennifer lopez - (can't believe) this is me :)

THE EYE 10.

2005-03-26T12:30:00.000+08:00

yesterday was, long. my maid, my sister and my dad went to my elder sister's grandmother's funeral in the morning. leaving my aunt and i at home.. so i had to do the chores. and also, i had to meet baby in the late afternoon.

i booked the tickets for The Eye 10 (GV Grand) at the AXS machine downstairs, sent cigarettes to my mom's coffee stall, cleaned up the house, etc. finally i took my shower.. and prepared to go out. met baby at tiong bahru, then we took 16 to Great World City..

went into the theatre.. and i remembered, i think it was the theatre that we were in when we watched The Matrix (IMAX). haha, the screen so damn big okay. and we were sitting in the middle, at the back rows. quite good view i would say! watched lotsa advertisements on upcoming movies, and they were practically all horror flicks. hehe, i'm gonna go catch House Of Wax!

The Eye 10 was quite okay. i shut my eye at some scenes. like, the peek-a-boo scene. haha. and the umbrella floating scene was damn good! :D i'd give this a 3/5 stars.

after the show, we took a bus to Tiong Bahru Market.. had dinner there. one of his colleague's husband stall. yap, quite nice. :)

then went home!

sometimes i think i think too much, hm. but then again, it's so hard to express my feelings here. not that i mind what others say, but really. some people are shitheads, they just don't get what you're trying to say, in the end they malign you for saying something that you never even thought of. ahh, why do i even bother?

NOKIA6260.

2005-03-24T18:19:00.000+08:00

okay, i am back from my phone-shopping!

i got the NOKiA6260, black coffee in color. after all the discounts and sunperks stuff, the price lowered to $303. haha, i paid $3! my mom paid the remaining $300. at first we were like, we half half. then in the end she said this shall be my 17th birthday gift, i was like, oh okay. haha. but i paid the handphone bills for my sister and i, so it's about the same.

the phone's okay lah, i'm having a hard time trying to adapt. lol, why must they separate the keypad into two friggin' sections?! boooooo. never mind, i'm learning to love my phone. :)

FRIDAY TOMORROW and it means BABY DAY!!! yay :D

i turn to you (:

2005-03-24T13:26:00.000+08:00

time's passing so so so slowly! like snails! i woke up around 9 just now i think. argh. when my aunt's around i can't seem to have enough sleep, or just sleep in peace. i can't even sleep on my own bed. i miss my bed! ended up sleeping in my mom's room. bah!

most probably gonna go get my phone later on at westmall with my mom! hopefully nothing goes wrong lah uh. :/ $$$.

will be attending my elder sister's grandma's funeral later on in the evening with my family.. sigh.

til' i pen again.

rainy afternoon.

2005-03-23T17:18:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wish i was a guy, then i'd be exempted from all the pains that we girls have to go through every month! but then again, i'm enjoying life being a girl now. so hehe, i take my words back. :)

so, i didn't get to meet up with yanfen & yihong in the end. my cramps were hurting rather badly, and yihong had work at 5pm. so yeah, we'll meet up another day. i guess it's perfectly fine, indirectly i won't be spending unnecessary money. hehe. i spend way too much on shopping! bah :/

gonna go get my phone tomorrow afternoon with my momsie and sister! :) but before that, i have to pay my outstanding phone bill first. and it's a whooping 150$! man. i hope they'll let me change my plan. damnit.

150$ + 200$, now i'm 350$ poorer. no more shopping for me!!! was supposed to be working on friday.. but i called evan up and told her that i won't be able to help her out already.. so, there goes my income. do you think my momsie will give me moneyy? haha i doubt so. bleah. seriously, i can't wait for school to start! i hope school will be good.

thinking about it.. i've never gotten my first few choices for my postings over these few years. but this time i got my second choice, which is SP's media&communications. should i be glad about it? there are people who got their 10th choice or even had unsuccessful applications.. i remembered how upset i was when i got into clementi town secondary school during the posting a few years back.. it was my 4th choice. i wanted to transfer to jurong secondary school, because all my friends were there. but eventually i didn't. and i knew i didn't regret my choice. i loved it over at ct! i made new friends, and they really rocked my socks. haha :) i hope my poly life will be just the same as my secondary school life. aiii.

i'll get to see baby on friday, hopefully. :) and creative's better be open!!! now my little cousin is making me play games with her. haha, alright. ooh!! qiaojuan is doing chinese studies in ngee ann poly! man. i was so shock when she told me about it. i should have chosen chinese studies, then we'd be reunited! haha. my, this is life. oh well. :) i told her, we'll meet in a few years, in the media industry. HAHA. if i even make it there. :)

update again later. :)

green is a nice color.

2005-03-22T19:04:00.000+08:00

i'm getting so bored staying at home with absolutely nothing much to do. i've been surfing the net and watching tv the whole day, it's getting soo boring! and my aunt is irritating the hell out of me.

hopefully i get to go out tomorrow. mm, meeting yanfen & yihong! but yanfen's gonna go down to NP & TP to appeal for her courses with her schoolmates while yihong's got to report to MI in the morning. guess we'll only meet after yihong dismisses from school.

nownow, everyone's going JC and i'm all stuck alone at home. school starts in late may, my god. anyone in SP?! or better still, media&communications?

oh yes, getting a new phone soon! hm, forking out 200$ by myself, and the rest by my mom. ;/ nokia6260. i thought it was pretty. :) steel appeal. twiiiist, slicccck. ah, boredom kills.

shall go hunting for a pretty sling bag tomorrow! and my pants from bega. <3

jae posting

2005-03-22T12:50:00.000+08:00

and there you go, my posting results. i don't know if i should be happy or sad. i put it as my second choice, so yeah i already expected it. hehe, there goes my dream of pursuing a diploma in mass communications. instead, media and communications. no bread, biscuits will do? so now, goodbye mass comms!

tanning!

2005-03-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

the sun was, scorching hot. hm, yes i am burnt. painful but, okay i expected it. i was lying on my back, trying to at least make my STOMACH look a bit darker, but end up i fell asleep listening to my player.. so, yap. i baked under the sun for a whole 30 minutes.. and i was burnt on the front. hehe so red. but my back is only slightly burnt. SO UNEVEN! but i will definitely not go tanning again anytime within a few weeks. i don't want to get skin cancer. :(

had sakae at harbourfront! haha, one crave satisfied. :) i kept ordering and i think the waiter was irritated because he had to make many rounds just to serve us. bleah, he sucks. i should have lodge a complain against him. dumbo! I LOVE CHAWANMUSHI! AND TOFU!!! yes yes i love to eat tofu! really! so nice okay, yum~ then went walking around the mall.. woot. reached home at 8pm.

posting's gonna be out at 8am tomorrow. sigh. GOOD LUCK TO ALL! and to me.. i hope it will not be disappointing. =/

6/1 '2000 gathering!

2005-03-21T02:36:00.000+08:00

hello! i had a super long day! :)

woke up around 11+, took a shower, pack my stuffs and left the house to meet baby. well he's a pig lah uh. was feeling very irritated by then, but i don't know why. moodswings maybe. and he kept irritating me by blowing air into my ear and some other stupid stuffs. so irritating! i think he looks cuter with his new haircut, even though.. it still looks the same. hahaha :X he's sunburnt but he stubbornly refused to admit. i left around 5 in the evening to meet up with my primary school friends..

went to meet jyeyiing over at her block's bus stop first. then we walked to superbowl's macdonalds to meet up with the rest. when we reached, xinrui, huiling, junxiang and zhizhong were already there.. then slowly the others came as well. daniel, hidayah, sallah, xueqi, ma lingyang, fahmy, atiqah. talked cock in macdonalds for like 3 hours plus. lol, then daniel went back home first. we decided to climb into our very abandoned primary school ;) muahaha. climbed in through the wires, it was like already brokened lah. woot. rashid came and join us.

it was supersuper eerie in the school. so damn bloody dark and filled with dried leaves all over the ground. so it's like whenever you walk, there's sound of you crushing the fallen leaves. so damn scary. at one point, we thought we saw something and almost freaked out. hahaha, but we didn't. we went all the up to the 4th level to our class room!!! so empty and dirty. then played truth or dare there for a little while. left the place around 11+! then climbed out by the broken fence. woooo so damn fun. hahaha, man i miss the good ol' days.

meeting gita tomorrow! we're heading down to sentosa for tanning. yay. i hope the sun's good tomorrow. uploading songs into my player now.. *yawns*

have yet to pack my stuffs for tomorrow. i've no other bottles for my shampoo and shower foam. my sister's using it for her camp tomorrow. sian. hopefully i wake up in time. hehehehe. tomorrow's gonna be good, but too bad baby's gotta work! :(

and MY FINGER hurts :( was pouring some boiling water for my aunt just now, and i scalded myself. now it feels raw and, ouch.

6/1'2000 rocks! ;) <3<3<3<3

my first bikini!

2005-03-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

oops, the sentosa trip was cancelled because geetha couldn't make it! *pouts* yes i wanna go to sentosa VERY badly, baby you hear that? :/

but anyway, we went shopping instead lah. walked around the whole of orchard, my legs are aching pretty badly now. i need new shoes! :( hurhur. karen and i bought bikinis over at sheer romance. hahaha! i wanted to get the plain one, but they said the floral prints one were nicer, so okay lah fine. so we got the floral prints one. then walk walk walk.. and i think LEE HOM was at level one, you know far east, there's this studio like place. yeap. but i didn't get to see him, HAHA i was so reluctant to walk. was shopping instead :X

lazy to update in details. hm, haha. didn't bought much today. one bikini, and one dark pink spaghetti top from giordano (AGAIN!!!), then two wristbands from giordano also. ;) i should just become a gior-member man, but they've already closed membership. haha!

oh what the hell, i wanna bathe ;|

and tomorrow's sunday, ahem.

numbed*

2005-03-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

i'm very much annoyed by the little boy in my house. my aunt's son. can't he just sit down and watch cartoon network quietly?! he keeps jumping about, then pester me to let him play the computer (i did! and it was for 3 whole frickin' hours), then he dribbled around with my sister's volleyball making a helluva din! for goodness sake, my mom's trying to get some sleep. argh, so so so annoyed. this is one of the many reasons why i hate staying at home, if not do not enjoy the company of other guests/relatives. so irritating! go back to your own pig sty and make as much noise as you want! but not here, fuck it. i love peace and I WANT SOME PEACE. argh.

now he's pestering me to let him play with the computer again. i should have just gone out and take a long bus ride by myself for some peace and quietness. and now my very bitchy sister is back home from school. i wish i could just kill myself. ARGH.

my aunt's sleeping on my bed. i want my nap, but i can't. *sigh* maybe i should go pack up my stuffs later, if not just watch tv and die away.

i can't wait for tomorrow when i'll be out of this house.

2005-03-18T16:55:00.000+08:00

purple fetish ;) one of my master pieces. *gags*

another step that i take;

2005-03-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

actually i updated again last night, but i couldn't publish it lah. when i clicked the publish button, tada~ poof! and it was gone. damn.

i'm reliving my linkin park days. hahaha, but their songs are nice what. :)

my 4th aunt's son and her mother in law's in my house now. they are talking like really loudly. i was still sleeping when they came, then woke up when they started ranting. mymy.

& a piece of good news! i'll be meeting up with geets, geraldine and karen tomorrow! haven't been going out with them for a long long time. lalala. and we are going tanning in the morning! yay, sentosasentosasentosa! <3<3<3<3

then we will be heading to town, as usual.. shopping!! haha. craving for sakae, hm. shall make them eat sakae with me. muahahaha :D

now my aunt's sitting beside me, nagging. so irritating. she's asking me stupid questions, about BABY!! blah. that pig's at work. *shrugs*

listen!! linkin park - somewhere i belong

i am damn bored lah. looking for someone to go jurong point with me later. i want to buy that pair of pants. damn it.

laters.

change of a mask.

2005-03-17T18:22:00.000+08:00

i changed my layout, finally! but i changed the comments system too, and now all my notes are gone :( my notes!!!

my sister's so annoying. she wanna use the f(insert alphabet)cking computer. blah. guess i gonna go off soon.

shall update later tonight!

facade, fade away.

2005-03-17T01:04:00.000+08:00

feeling bushed, but he has yet to reply me.. i don't know what's wrong or what happened to him. it just doesn't feel right, he doesn't seem to be himself. i don't know. i just hope he's fine. *sigh* maybe miss-sensitivity is at work again.

went for dinner with some of my relatives just now. went to marina south for steamboat. then went home. boring, yes quite.

have decided to get the dkny watch already. and yap, going for a giordano shopping spree with my cousin tomorrow.

and now, i'm talking to my primary school friends, and some old friends from the net. haha, meeting up with my primary school friends on sunday evening. hmm, i hope i won't feel too left out there. i haven't been to any of the outings they've organised over these few years. ahh well, i hope jyeyiing goes. i miss that girl. :) still, i hope it turns out good. hm.

that boy's not giving any response still.. aiiii.

i've got to pick myself up and yeah, learn to be happy. i have to start from scratch.

maybe i need retail therapy.

2005-03-16T02:58:00.000+08:00

i have so much things on my mind now, i doubt i will have a good sleep tonight. *sigh*

sometimes i wonder why am i created this way, with such proportions of character, emotions and feelings, you name it. i know very often i behave out of the box but yet so predictable. for example, i get all moody and depressed at the slightest thing. then i will start with all my crappy rants and i start raving like a crazy old bitch.

i don't exactly live in a broken family, neither is it completely complete, i still feel this empty space inside of me. but nobody ever notices it, because i've masked it so fucking well. on the surface, i tend to behave like, oh i don't give a fuck about (insert names here), but actually sometimes whatever happens to them matters a fucking whole lot to me.

i am aware of myself, especially my needs. i do not deny the face that i constantly need assurance. i need to be reassured constantly, over and over again. but think, who has the patience to do that? which silly guy? *sigh* sometimes my thoughts wander too far off, i start thinking (inserts random thoughts), then i go berserk. and later, i make somebody else upset. of course, that somebody matters a lot to me.

i often wish i could turn back the hands of time, so that everything will not be what they are now. i often wish that i could have a completely complete family, one with no cracks, one that's so bounded and enclosed in warmth and happiness.

the fact that i've a shelter over my head, necessities for the daily routine such as eat, shower, excrete and so on, i should not be unhappy about my life now, or do i even have the right to be saying such things? especially when children in the third world country do not even have the luxury of having a whole computer to themselves, or even, have enough food for their three meals. i seriously need to ponder over my sins. oh yes, sins.

my material needs are taken care of, so why should i be complaining? i like shopping, or to be exact, i love it! retail therapy, it makes me go ooh la la!

but has anyone ever spare me a thought.. why do i turn to retail therapy, or even go on a junk food binge? i know some people turn to the above to release their stress, etc. however, i think that stress is not the right word for me now, i'm not working, nor am i studying. how does stress applies to me? i don't know.

i don't want people to think i'm soft, a weakling. no i'm not one, and i don't want to be one.. i want to be able to stand and live for myself, in case one day i have to live by myself all alone or when some crazy problems happen, i'll be left all alone in this mortal world. i cry a lot. i cry at the slightest thing, my heart wringe at the dumbest thing. but crying does not mean that someone's a weakling isn't it. it's just another method to release all the bottled-up rubbish.

i absolutely abhor loneliness, and maybe that's the very reason why i yearn to be loved, to be taken care of, and not to be taken for granted.

loneliness.. there's a tinge of it lingering somewhere in me.. somehow.

still, i will pick myself up slowly, by bits, and by pieces. i wish you would change the way you handle your problems.. i don't want you to sleep it away and then pretend everything's fine the very next day you wake up.. no. i want you to talk it out with me, whatever that's on your mind. or even how unhappy you are with me. just thrash it out. not this, not SLEEP. argh.

i'm feeling so lost.

retail therapy, anyone?

my cousin said the DKNY watch is up for a 20% discount over at a shop in bishan, maybe i should get it to ease my soul of all the above. then on thursday, it's my cousin's birthday! i should beg her to take me along on a shopping spree at giordano (discounts, and more discounts..). i should also get myself a digicam since i've been dying to get one since eons ago..

i think the above would have zapped over 1000+$ out of my pathetic savings. but still, i will get the items, soon. i hope after all these, my soul with be soothed.

oh, mom's working half day tomorrow. and i think we're going over to marina bay for steamboat in the evening. a food binge? heh. there goes my diet plans. i'd still love to sign up for yoga and kickboxing. :)

wow, it's almost 3. someone spare me a thought, but i don't need your sympathies.. i hate myself. really. and again, i can feel the tap leaking. goodbye. and please erase all of the above off your memory.

i miss you.

a visit to the hospital

2005-03-15T00:16:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling a little sleepy now. *yawns* but i will try to stay up, to wait for baby's sms! i don't know if he has already knocked off from work @ coffee club or something. i didn't ask him :X lalala. but i think he should have knock off already or is going to, because he has to work at his sister-in-law's office tomorrow morning as usual. dadadadeedum~

okay! today, my grandparents picked me and my sister up from our place, then we drove off to the KK HOSPITAL. yup, the journey there was so long i wanted to fall asleep. i went there to visit my 4th aunt! oh well, i can say it's so bloody tough being a woman, and SCARY. we're bounded by so many many worries! :( *sigh* okay lah, for those who wanted to know, like BABY.. my aunt went for an operation to put her womb back in place. you know it will like loosen and 'fall'? yup.. then while chatting with my aunt ah, my grandmother started telling us her story.. ohh, my grandmother had her womb removed like about 20 odd years ago.

man. it was definitely an experience. argh, i swear i will take good care of myself. especially after i give birth next time. HEHEHE :)

then we left around 6.45pm, then we settled down at macdonalds' for dinner, and left.

told my grandpa to drive us to jurong point! haha. wanted to shop a little, and my cousin wanted to buy some formal clothes because she's gonna teach, oh yes TEACH! she's posted to clementi primary school. haha, and the attachment starts next monday when school resumes ;) but she'll be going back to NIE in july for her courses. lalala~ shopped and shopped. my cousin bought a skirt, two tops and a bag. haha! and that was already 100+ buckaroos. muahaha. and i bought myself a top! a billabong top, lalala. so prettty ;) wanted to get this other purple top, but they don't have it in the color. :( *siigh*

oh ya, we were looking around for watches.. and this particular prettypretty watch caught our eye! but it's a good 235$!!! the price's a little too steep! :( if not i'd have gotten it. ayyyyye. but it's so pretty, from DKNY. ahh, metallic silver metal straps, a light pink watch face, and tada!!! pretty shiny little pink diamond like crystals forming the word DKNY! AHHHHHHH it's so damn gorgeous! but it's... 235$.

anyone feeling rich? *rubs hands in glee*

baby thinks that i've been shopping too much. i think so too. let's do a count on how many clothes/stuffs i've bought these 3-4 months.

clothes
2 pair of denim skirts (60+$)
1 pair of jeans (39.9$)
1 pair of boardshorts from tyr (29.9$)
1 white lycra top from giordano (14$)
1 light pink polo from giordano (19$)
1 printed tee from giordano (8+$)
1 brown tube from toss (29$)
1 top from billabong (39.9$)
1 op tee (19.9$)
1 nike tee (36$)

accessories/junks/others
1 ripcurl tote bag (69$)
1 ripcurl wallet (45$)
1 billabong wallet (baby's 1st anni. gift) (55+$)
1 set of korean drama (vcd) (30$)
1 phantom of the opera ost (30$)
2 handphone chains (6+$)
1 diary from hallmark (12$)
1 jay chou's concert dvd (baby's birthday gift) (30$)

what else? i can't really remember. haha. i've spent a lot! if i should include the amount i spend on food, and transport.. *sigh* blahblah. but i've calculated. i've spent close to 900$-1000$ these few months. *coughs*

recently, i'm addicted to goldhill's instant mash potato. *yumyum* trying out the butter&herb flavor. it's quite good ;)

heee, off to watch the telly now! tah~

:(

2005-03-13T13:22:00.000+08:00

I AM BORED TO TEARS!!! HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOO!!! ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

baby is sleeping, like a pig!!! went to disturb him but he's like.. still sleeping. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :( *sigh* i am bored, damn bored. hmpf. and i strongly believe that he is not going to wake up any time sooner.

my 4th aunt's going for an operation tomorrow. :/ some women-related problems lah. kpo! -.- then she'll be staying with us lah. so we can take care of her! yes yes, me me me!!! haha joking. she will be in bad hands if i take care of her.

random.

i've always wondered how true a love can be, oh well. silly but aiiii, random, i said random! so yes, any answers? hm, guang liang's tong hua is damn nice! :) but yup, tong hua dou shi pian ren de. translation: fairytales are lies! haha. what the hell, blah.

maybe i should look for a job. *sigh*

AND STUPID BABY WAKE UP!!!!!! ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!! i don't want to friend you liao. *sigh*

我愿变成童话里你爱的那个天使

2005-03-13T01:56:00.000+08:00

it's.. about 2 in the morning. guess i'm hitting the sacks soon. baby's still at work. *sigh* and i don't know what to update about.

the only nice thing is that baby will be coming after work. that means around 7-ish in the morning later. hopefully i will be able to wake up in time to open the door for him. haha. :)

i miss him, i miss him. *sigh*

:) love.

BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS

2005-03-10T13:28:00.000+08:00

lalalala~ i've nothing much to do at home. i've been slacking. sleeping, eating, if not watching my korean drama serial. hmm, and i've been messaging baby a lot these few days. haha. he has to work from noon at his sister in law's office, then before he goes to work he will wake me up by smsing me. then the sms marathon starts. geees. :) only if he has to work at coffee club at night, then the marathon will cease! yay i love my baby!

i will be meeting yanfen and yihong later on! hehe, my colleagues. but we've all quitted lah. gonna go to yihong's house to watch vcd. lalala. =P

and at this moment, i'm missing my baby a wholeeeeeeeee lot! he's so naughty. :)

don't you think Green Day's Boulevard of Broken Dreams is a great song?! i'm hooked on it. hehe, sexy voice! <3<3<3<3 the lyrics are YUMMYYYYY!

i walk a lonely road, the only one that i've ever known
don't know where it goes, but it's only me and i walk alone
i walk this empty street, on the boulevard of broken dreams
where the city sleeps, and i'm the only one and i walk alone
i walk alone, i walk alone, i walk alone, i walk alone

my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shadow's heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wished someone out there will find me
till then i walk alone

something like that.. haha, that's what i heard lah. don't know if i'm right. but hehehe, i love it!

okay, i guess i ought to go bathe now!

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :)

2005-03-09T00:34:00.000+08:00

sheesh, i'm feeling so tuckered out right now! was out the whole dayyy. *stretches* hehe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABYBOYYY! :) iloveyoualways. *smucks*

i took a cab down to baby's place in the morning (because i was lazy to take the train for an hour, all by myself.) i know i'm wasting money. but, for my baby!!! then went up to his place! and as usual, the dogs. hehehehe, so cute! :)

we left for sentosa at around 2+ or 3 i forgot. the weather was good, yummy sunny sun. was tanning for a while then i got bored because baby was tanning away so happily that i think he fell asleep. then there was nobody to talk to me!!! so i woke up and went to play with the water by myself. *pouts* hahaha. the sun was reallllllly hot today lah. but the beach was quite deserted. or maybe because i don't usually go to the beach during such times (school days), unlike the past i only frequent the beach during the weekends or holidays. hehe. but the peace was pretttttty. i love. <3<3<3

then we went to wash up, and left sentosa. took 65 from the harbourfront bus stop to orchard. hee. went to find the crumpler that baby wanted but it was out of stock, so yeah. disappointed he was! then we walked all the way from wheelock place to parkmall.. for fish&co! hehehe, i like!! had the same food this time, seafood platter for two. but we tried another freeze. =P jungle freeze this time. yummy. after dining at fish&co, baby wanted desert. haha, he's a pig!!! we walked over to the coffee club at hotel rendezvous (spellng?). ordered a muddy mud pie, apple crumble and a tiramisu mud pie! yummmmmy okie. haha. mud piee. first time eating it. the muddy mud pie!! coffee + chocolate ice cream, with oreo crumbs on top and oreo fudge cake at the bottom, then served with hershey chocolate syrup. ohmygod lah so sinful! but it was so yummy! unfortunately i was quite bloated from the meal at fish&co, i didn't finish it up. baby had to do it =x was feeling soooooo full that we wanted to vomit. haha.

then we walked over to dhoby ghaut mrt station! my train came, and i left first. :( eileen hates parting. *sigh*

now i'm missing him already.

i don't feel like sleeping yet. think i'll go watch my vcd. byebyees.

SUBMISSION OF JAE APPLICATION

2005-03-05T02:29:00.000+08:00

*coughs* i've submitted the JAE application just now. around 9+ in the evening. i even got my beloved cousin to come to my place, just to help me with the choosing of the courses. haha! but hmm. i hope i will not regret my choices. why? because i've chose to 'isolate' the communications and media management course over at temasek poly. i placed it almost right at the back, the last few options. *sigh* and i really really hope that i'll get into my first choice, mass communications in ngee ann poly. *crosses fingers and pray*

i was TRYING very hard to fill in the blanks.. all for the sake of filling in the blanks.. *sigh*

dear God.. please.

EXTENSION OF JAE APPLICATION

2005-03-04T13:06:00.000+08:00

*sigh* i've been making vain attempts to get/squeeze into the JAE website. perhaps God wants me to think it through before i submit the application form, in case i regret in the near future. but then again, i'm not sure of how i'm gonna rank the courses, and of course, whether should i choose this course, or that course.

this was what i wanted to submit two days ago.

1. MASS COMMUNICATIONS (NP)
2. COMMUNICATIONS AND MEDIA MANAGEMENT (TP)
3. MEDIA AND COMMUNICATIONS (SP)
4. HOSPITALITY AND TOURISM MANAGEMENT (TP)
5. BUSINESS STUDIES (NP)
6. BUSINESS ADMINSTRATION (SP)
7. ACCOUNTANCY (SP)
8. BANKING AND FINANCE (NP)
9. EARLY CHILDHOOD EDUCATION (NP)
10. CHINESE STUDIES (NP)
11. SCIENCE (PJC)
12. ARTS (PJC)

but hellllllllo!!! *knocks* from option 6 onwards, i was just trying to fill up the blanks!!! i've absolutely no interest in the courses, or rather, not as passionate about the courses compared to my 1st three choices!

*sigh* it's just so hard to make a decision. and it's so not safe to just submit 6 options. why? because i was born in the year of the dragon. argh.

GCE O LEVEL RESULTS 2004

2005-03-01T13:21:00.000+08:00

MY OHHH MY. :/ *sigh* i think i didn't do well. i'm disappointed, even though the countless times my mumsie and sister said i did fine. like, oh poops.

i got a freaking 18 for my L1R5. *sigh* after deducting the bonus points i've, i'm stuck with a 15 point. i don't know to head for a jc, or go for what i've always wanted to do, MASS COMMUNICATIONS in ngee ann poly. i believe i will stand a good chance of getting into the course though. i've attained an A2 for english language, and a 12 point for L1R4. aiii. talk about being confused. *shakes head*

..and here it goes.

CHINESE - A1
ENGLISH - A2
COMBINED SCIENCE (PHY/CHEM) - A2
HIGHER CHINESE - B3
MATH D - B3
COMBINED HUMANITIES (SS/HIST) - B4
MATH A - C6
BIOLOGY - C6

i have never passed any humanities examinations or test, and i'm really really glad that i've got a B4 for this major exam! <3 ms low! all the bloody goons and stuffs. haha. yay, ms low rocks! geees, and my science. i think it was chemistry that pulled me up, mrs yong!!! i can swear she's the best teacher you can ever find! <3<3<3 and of course mrs oon, for the countless number of practise papers.

our batch did well! in fact, better than our seniors. :) i was elated to hear it when the new principal announced it while showing the slides. of course, many of my friends did so much better than i did. congrats! and to those who are upset about their results, please don't think it's the end of the world. there are still chances and opportunities for you all out there! *hughug*

but still, no matter how i fared, i really want to thank all my teachers! :) they are a great bunch of people, they are the one who are always there whenever i/we needed help.. i still remembered the time geraldine and i stayed back to ask mr lee questions on math. we stayed till 7+ in the evening when the attendant had to close and lock up the school. mr lee was so sweet, he offered to continue answering and clearing our doubts, so he drove us to the macdonalds' near school, and we discussed the questions. then everything ended around 8-ish. aiii. mr lee!! he's so sweet. i didn't talk to him when i was in school yesterday. i was so ashamed to face him, *sigh* i scored lousy math grades. B3 for emath, and a freaking C6 for amath!!! holypoop.

i've work later, and i wanna quit it so badly. i need time to think and consider about my JAE choices.. oh well. a jc, or poly? i don't know where i belong. *sigh*

and for the baby.. pick yourself up. okay? iloveyou.